We always thought there was something else behind that smile!
Last Sunday he was seen ushering a group of innocent old ladies into his ‘honey-trap’, a posh hotel in Sale (The Amblehurst – Posh? Ed).
MrF made ALL the ‘ladies’ welcome
though perhaps some more than others!
There he lured them into a private room and plied them drinks and food – all afternoon! On leaving their private boudoir, MrF was seen kissing several of these innocent old ladies and holding their hands as he helped them downstairs.
Our reporter even managed to hear MrF try to arrange a further assignation for the ‘same time, next year’
Mr F sent his ‘ladies’ emails asking them to meet him ‘same time next year!’
(suspect this maybe a ‘hoax’ as MrF has not yet learned to send emails! – ed)
Revelations such as these might have far-reaching consequences for that well-known Sale secret society KSC 247.
‘Yes there has been an upsurge in demand for worn-out fitter shirts and we are trying are hardest to keep up with this demand. Unfortunately, to do this means we will have to increase the gas tariff once again next year. We would like to remind all our customers though they will have a choice of colours either Blue/Black or Black/Blue and that BGas still remains good value……etc etc etc’ ad nauseam
to be fair, MrI never really had MrFs dress sense!
We are also able to repute the allegation that MrI has to send his holiday cases on ahead by ship. It’s all untrue, he sends them ahead by air freight. (‘It’s the shoes, you know’)
MrI travelled ‘light’ – the remainder of his holiday baggage went by air freight
‘It’s a sad case really and I don’t think there’s too much hope at his age, however I will keep administering the ‘medicine’ at least twice a week and I feel sure he will join me in taking the ‘medicine’ too!’
The only kind of medicine MrC seems to respond to!
The Chaplain has been busy this Term. The thrust of his sermons has been ‘the wages of sin’ unfortunately it appears the sinners have been riding them and not very successfully. The Chaplain has asked that in your prayers you should seek Divine Intervention, especially this week at Chester, so far these prayers have not been answered.
No Divine Intervention for RevA at Chester today then
At last the truth is out – why Billy Joe jumped off the Tallahatchie Bridge-
He’d just had a days walking with MrB!!!
‘I can’t really see myself going for the next 5 years, or until I unlock this giant Thumb off my head’
Somehow, we can’t see MrL making JB7
‘No, it can’t be done. The rules are quite clear, Welshmen are not allowed on any part of a JB trip’
Chidge said he’d probably be ‘too busy, anyway’
Further revelations have emerged within the last hour. Sources close to the most well-known secret clandestine organisation in Sale, the KSC, have revealed that there is turmoil within the society following the earlier allegations. The current Grand Wizard, Mr D, was meant to retire next year and plans were already being put into place for Mr F (yes him again!) to take over.
At this months KSC Meeting MrF and MrR announce the Widows Party will be
‘same time next year’
Others sources suggest now is the time to bring in an outsider with no links to any current members. It is believed that a Mr I has been approached. These same sources indicate that there may be opposition to such a move as Mr I has not been trained in the dark arts of the organisation. It was pointed out however that Mr R, the Bursar, was Grand Wizard many years ago so the precedent has been set. Sources are optimistic that if Mr I were to accept nomination, the society could move forward and he would take it in a new direction.
Some members feel MrI’s new Dress Code might just be a bit too radical!
“I was amazed that such a tight-fisted **** who always manages to avoid paying for a round became GW of a charitable organisation.’
Mrs R say she was ‘surprised’ when MrR became the Grand Wizard
‘However, now that I have heard the allegations against Mr F, I am beginning to understand. Mr R is very innocent and was putty in Mr F’s hands, being at his beck and call to collect the ladies.”
‘I just helped MrF collect the Ladies, honest Officer’
STATEMENT FROM THE BURSAR RE: FALLONGATE
Further revelations regarding the clandestine dealings of the School Jester (MrF) have been brought to the attention of The Editors (whoever they may be) concerning the procurement of these innocent old ladies for the insatiable MrF. We have it on good authority that the person procuring these old ladies is none other than our own Bursar MrR!!!!!
Part of MrR’s, umm how shall we say ‘procurement process’
We can only guess at the sort of games Mr F gets up to with his ‘Ladies’
You’ll have to make your own mind up on this one!!!
The School Governors will be initiating a Court of Inquiry into the affairs of these pair with particular reference to MrRs’ annual stay at his Chateau in the South of France, unconfirmed reports mention meetings with the Mafiosi and a shady character by the name of Dom Fallioni!
‘MrF has just made you an offer you can’t refuse!’
These have been kindly donated by the well-known raconteur and nonagenarian MrB. Asked about his generous donation MrB said he was only too pleased to donate them to the school as they were given to him by an anonymous lady in Stretford (MissW) who gave him a box of biscuits every time he did her ‘a favour’
After a long walk on Sunday, Mr B usually does Miss W ‘a favour(?)’
- Miss W usually rewards MrB with a tin of biscuits for every ‘favour(?)’
The school is happy to announce the Head of PT (MrC) has finally recovered from his personal crisis when his team finally won their first game on Tuesday, despite valiant attempts to maintain their losing run. RevA of the school Crisis Management Team was quick to administer his first pint on Wed evening. Unfortunately before RevA had finished paying for the first Round the mild-mannered Head of PT was already finishing his 2nd pint.
Thanks to RevA’s guidance MrC is now on the way to a full recovery
Sun 28 Oct MrF in the Language Suite The Benefits of being a Polyglot
Somehow she misunderstood MrF
MrB was somewhat surprised when MrI brought the replacement boiler round
How I battled anorexia – and won!
The Pork Pie Diet helps me maintain my sylph-like figure – MrL
with demonstrations
‘Just tell me, when has a TERRORIST ever used shaving cream?’
Sun20 Nov MrR Economics The Beauty of the British Tax System
‘It’s an allowable expense – honest’
Sun27 Nov MrB Biology 101 things you can d0 on an allotment
Mr B show the Ladies of the Allotment Society a 101 things they’re missing!
Sun4 Dec RevA Spatial Awareness 1001 things you can stuff in a sock drawer
‘what the Inland Revenue don’t know about – they can’t worry about!’
Sun11Dec Mr K Language Suite English as a Foreign Language
….even as they flew in from Rwanda they were under no illusions as to the size of the task which lay ahead of them – teaching MrK English
As most of you know, MrR was in Sick Bay just before Christmas and Matron was somewhat concerned, however a visit from MrC & MrF convinced him that it wasn’t worth staying there if it meant regular visits from those 2. Needless to say, he left Sick Bay 20 minutes after their visit!!! RevA is now looking to see if a visit coinciding with an immediate cure constitutes a miracle.
MrF & MrC soon have MrR ‘out and about’
RevA took the Christmas Hols in his stride and enlightened us all with his ‘Sermon on the Facebook’. We have it on good authority that this Sermon has reached the upper echelons of the Christian Faith and a new Gospel is being considered added to the New Testament. – ‘Anthonys Letter to the Jolly Boys’
RevA devoted his Christmas to composing the ‘Letters to the JBs’
MrC is taking seriously his mission to personally populate the North of England. His offsprings’ offspring now number 7 with no sign of slowing down. The downside is he now has 10 females on his case!
And there’s still some females missing!!!
MrF is freshly back from trying to scare HMQ. A mission in which he succeeded magnificently as HMQ thought a visit to the Bank of England was much less of an inconvenience. Goodness knows what Philip would have made of MrF!!!!!
Prince Phillip said you can only meet so many Bankers in one day
(well that’s what it sounded like anyway)
The school nonagenarian Mr B celebrated Christmas Day in his own unique way – with a Cheese Sandwich (although to be fair, as it was Christmas day he garnished it with a red pepper!) followed by celebratory inspection of the onion patch, finishing off by opening one of the 52 Biscuit Tins he’s been awarded this year.
Some people are just born pleasure-seekers
MrL has done a runner. We’ve got a feeling the bailiffs might be pitching up on his doorstep soon regarding non-payment of bar bills.
Honestly Kev, it would have been cheaper just to get a round in!
MrI has not been seen since he started on his 5th Litre Bottle of Bacardi (Christmas Special Tesco’s – £15) we are, at the moment, still unsure if he has attacked the other 8 he purchased. We are hoping he may be able to surface in time for JB7
MrI thought Tescos offers were just too good to miss
welcome to the jollyboys website 
